On Beginnings and Middles
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”
The beginning of anything is far more discouraging than most people expect.
This is advice I give every recruiter when they start at Forge. It is easy to only see the “easy parts” - the wins, the commission checks, the placed candidates . . . but everyone has to start somewhere. And usually you learn by making mistakes.
This past weekend, I was attempting to learn some new lawn care skills and accidentally cut off half my rose bush with a weed eater. At first, I was very frustrated at myself, but then I thought, “Why would I expect myself to be good at something I’ve never tried before? Of course I am going to make mistakes.” Needless to say, maybe I should have started near other weeds and not my rosebushes, but . . . live and learn.
I was talking with a friend last week about the internal voice in our heads that is our own worst critic, especially for Type A, driven people. For people like us, the beginning (and even the middle at times) is rough. Progress is slow and you want the finished product now.
I see this all the time in recruiting. A tough loss, a difficult client or candidate experience, Inmails that get ignored . . . and the comparison voices grow louder.
But the reality is there is no substitute for experience.
We learn by doing, and by failing, and by getting back up and trying again. There is truth to the saying that you “learn things the hard way.”
If you are beginning something, and feel like you are failing, that might not be the worst thing in the world. Because you’re not supposed to be good at it yet. And the more you try new things and put yourself out there, the more your grit, determination, and humility grow.
And that is what enables you to do the next right thing.
Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. They have had their own set of failures and mistakes and half-eaten rosebushes along the way. You may not see it, but I promise you they are there. Pick up the gloves and try again.