The Truth is Usually in the Middle
One of the most interesting facets of being a recruiter is that you are truly “in the middle.” You are bridging gaps: gaps in communication, gaps in expectations, gaps in experience, and gaps in knowledge.
Both the company and the candidate are coming at the situation from their own vantage point and their own lens, and here’s the thing: neither is wrong. Our experiences and our desires shape us, in how we trust, in how we show up, and in what we ask for.
So yes, there are a lot of gaps that you must fill as a good recruiter. :) And over the years, I have learned a lot about navigating that middle ground, helping both sides of the aisle achieve a win-win situation.
This is one concept I have seen hold true for many years: the truth is usually in the middle.
This is not a pleasant concept, at least for people like me who prefer a whole lot of black and white. :) But I am learning that there is generally more nuance in people’s situations than we see at first blush.
It is easy to reduce people’s situations to bullet points. It is easy to reduce a company or an opportunity to just the compensation or just the interview experience.
Again… the truth is usually in the middle. Our job as recruiters is to look at patterns. What do the patterns in a situation or in a person tell you?
We all hold partial truths. Not out of malice, but we are shaped by the experiences of our lives, both positive and negative.
So what does this mean, practically?
1. Slow down your assumptions.
When a candidate hesitates, it is easy to label them as “not that interested.” When a client pushes back, it is easy to assume they are being difficult.
But what if there is more underneath that? A good recruiter pauses long enough to ask one more question. “Help me understand what’s giving you pause.” That one question will uncover more truth than any assumption ever will. We call it the question beneath the question.
2. Look for patterns, not moments.
Anyone can have a bad interview. Any company can have an off process or a hiccup with scheduling. One data point is noise. Patterns are a signal. If a candidate consistently struggles to articulate their experience, that matters. If multiple candidates give the same feedback about a company or an interview process, I lean in a bit more. Train yourself to zoom out before you make a call.
3. Translate, don’t just transmit.
Being “in the middle” is not about relaying information back and forth. It is about interpreting it. Sometimes a client says, “They’re not quite senior enough,” but what they mean is, “I’m not confident they can operate independently.” Sometimes a candidate says, “I’m not sure about the culture,” but what they mean is, “I didn’t feel seen or understood.” A great recruiter helps both sides hear what is actually being said.
4. Hold both sides accountable—with empathy.
Just because the truth is in the middle does not mean both sides are always equal in effort or behavior. Our job is not to avoid hard conversations—it is to have them well. That means challenging or pushing when necessary. But it also means doing it with context, respect, and a genuine desire for the best outcome for both.
5. Stay curious longer than feels comfortable.
Most people rush to a conclusion because it feels more certain. But the best recruiters I know stay curious just a little longer. They sit in the gray. They ask the extra question. They revisit the story when something doesn’t quite add up. That curiosity is often the difference between a good placement and a great one.
At the end of the day, recruiting is not just about matching resumes to job descriptions. It is about understanding people—how they think, what they value, and what they are really saying (and sometimes not saying at all).
And that work rarely lives in black and white.
It lives in the middle.